


Something Beautiful

by searchingwardrobes



Series: needtobreathe [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Deleted Scenes, F/M, between 4A and 4B, heart taking, redeemed villains, references to Gremma, six weeks of peace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 22:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searchingwardrobes/pseuds/searchingwardrobes
Summary: As Killian tells Emma what it felt like when Gold had his heart, she suddenly has a revelation about Graham. And suddenly, revenge sounds like a very good idea. Thankfully, her boyfriend is always by her side reminding her of what is beautiful.The stories in this series have only two rules: all must be deleted scenes, and all must be based on a needtobreathe song. Because needtobreathe is amazing and half their songs make me think of this OTP anyway.





	Something Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetleaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetleaf/gifts).



> * I gifted this to Sweetleaf because, well, first of all, the last time you commented on one of my stories, I sort of word vomited on you. Sorry about that. You caught me on an emotionally vulnerable day. But I also checked you out on tumblr like I promised, and while I was there I saw someone asking if you knew of any fics where Emma confronts Regina about Graham. You didn't know of any, and I thought that needed to be fixed. So this story would never have happened without you :)  
> * I feel like this deleted scene also better fleshes out how Emma and Regina came to the friendship they have in 4B, especially the road trip they take to find Lilly. I also think this gives context to the conversation Emma has in the woods with Regina and Killian about her parents' mistakes.  
> * I know the title and song seem like an odd choice for the subject matter, but I think it all will be clear at the end.

_And the water is risin' quick And for years I was scared of it We can't be sure when it will subside So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side_

_Hey now, this is my desire Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful To touch me, I know that I'm in reach 'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful_

 

              Emma slowed once again, forcing herself to quit running. Then she shook her head and gave a short laugh, amused with herself. For one, she found her inner conflict amusing. So she was eager to get back to Killian. So what? He was her boyfriend after all, her boyfriend who just got his heart back. She shuddered remembering the terror that had gripped her own heart as Gold had squeezed Killian’s; frozen in place, unable to do anything to help him.

              But that was all over now. She herself had put his heart back where it belonged; had held the pulsing organ in her own hands. She had noted how red it was; the darkness only swirls and spots here and there. If he ever doubted his heart was good, she could remind him.

              She also laughed at herself for _walking_. She had embraced her magic; was pretty damn good at it. Why even use her feet to get from the sorcerer’s mansion to Granny’s? With a grin, she flicked her wrist, and in a cloud of smoke she transported herself to the door of Killian’s room at the inn. She had thought about poofing herself right into his room, but then had wondered if that would seem a little too eager.

              But then Killian was opening his door, and the look on his face told her that no, actually, he wouldn’t have found her too eager at all. He had pounced earlier after she had shoved his heart back into his chest, and this time it was Emma’s turn to pounce. She kicked his door shut with her foot as the force of her sudden embrace sent him stumbling backwards. The back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, and they both went tumbling down.

              “It’s so good to feel again,” he growled as he nipped at her ear lobes and then her neck.

              “But you knew you didn’t have your heart?” Emma panted the question as she dug her fingers into his hair.

              “Gold wanted me to know,” he answered, his voice muffled as he kissed a path across her collar bone, “to torture me.”

              “So you couldn’t feel anything?”

              Killian paused in his ministrations to look her deeply in the eye. He brushed back her hair from her face tenderly. “Well, sort of. I could feel, but it was distant . . . muted.”

              The sadness in his eyes broke her heart. How had she not seen it? She traced the scar on his cheek with her fingertips, then slid her hand around to bury her fingers in his hair again. She yanked him forward, her kisses hungry. Then _she_ was the one trailing his collarbone with her lips, her hand splayed against his chest to feel the reassuring thump of his heart.

              “But with you, Emma, it was different. Whenever I was around you, I actually _felt_ something.”

              Emma stilled instantly. She sat up, still straddling him. He looked up at her with a bemused expression on his face. “What did you say?” she asked in a trembling voice.

              Killian’s brow furrowed with concern as he sat up as well. “I could feel more with you. It still wasn’t _normal_ , but it was . . . better.” He searched her face worriedly and rushed onward with his explanation, “Maybe it was your magic, or maybe it was because I –“ he broke off, swallowing hard, “because of the way I feel about you.”

              Emma felt the breath leave her lungs, and her hands began to tremble. Killian wasn’t the first to say that to her. She thought back to his kisses. The desperate one at the sorcerer’s mansion. The stiff one at the station when the spell of shattered sight was looming. The half-hearted one at Granny’s. She had wondered why those kisses seemed not only off, but strangely familiar.

              “Emma,” Killian said slowly, “what’s wrong, love?”

              Emma’s heart beat fast and something wild and hot rose up deep within her. She clenched both hands into tight fists.

              “Regina,” she hissed, her eyes narrowing to angry slits.

                            *********************************************************

              Emma could have transported herself there in an instance, but walking with long, angry strides was cathartic in a way. With each pounding footstep, her rage increased. How could she have been so stupid? How did it take her this long to see?

              Killian, of course, was keeping pace beside her. “Would you mind telling me where you’re going, love?” His voice was gentle, which said a lot about him, actually. Most men would assume she had lost her mind.

              “There,” Emma spat, pointing across the cemetery to Regina’s vault. She pulled out her phone as she marched towards it. “Regina and I are in need of a long overdue chat.”

              Killian followed her silently as she shoved the crypt aside and descended the steps to the vault. She stood in front of a wall of drawers. Killian knew exactly what it was. He had seen a similar one in the Enchanted Forest. Emma’s face contorted, and for a brief moment, tears shone in her eyes. But then she sniffled and schooled her features, pushing the tears back. She reached up and yanked open a drawer. Inside was a red, pulsing heart.

              “Graham was right,” Emma whispered brokenly. She was unable to keep a single tear from slipping down her face.

              Killian reached out tentatively, laying a hand on her arm. “She learned well from her mother. You knew that.”

              He was right. She did. She had even supported Regina taking a lost boy’s heart in Neverland (of course, she had also ensured that Regina put it back). But somehow, she hadn’t known that she had hearts here in Storybrooke. Or maybe she just didn’t want to think about the possibility.

              Suddenly, a cloud of smoke filled the room, and when it cleared, an irritated Regina was standing there. She arched a brow at Emma and Killian and then spoke with her usual sarcasm.

              “If you asked me here for a threesome, I’m not into that.”

              Regina gestured to Emma’s blouse, which she had forgotten was half unbuttoned, but Emma could care less about her disheveled appearance. Seeing the Evil Queen herself standing right in front her made the rage within boil over. She pulled out her pistol and aimed it right at Regina’s head.

              “I don’t know which is faster, a fireball or a bullet, but I’m willing to find out.”

              Regina’s face blanched and confusion clouded her eyes. “Emma, what is this? We were just with Henry, you were fine.”

              Killian glanced nervously between the two women. “Emma,” he said cautiously.

              “Shut up, Hook,” she snapped. Her finger slipped the safety off the gun. “I am finally seeing things clearly. Which one of these drawers had Graham’s heart in it, huh?”

              Regina glanced from the wall of hearts, and then to Emma, her face turning pale.

              “You killed him,” Emma spat, her lip trembling.

              “I thought you knew,” Regina’s own eyes filled with tears as she spoke. “After the curse broke –“

              “Yeah, it broke, and then there were wraiths, and I was falling through a portal, and –“ she broke off, shaking her head as the tears blurred her vision. “The coroner said it was a heart attack, but it wasn’t. Was it?” When Regina remained silent, Emma shouted, “Was it!”

              Regina flinched, and the tears spilled over. “No. It was me.”

              “And now you’ll pay,” Emma bit out, taking a step closer. Her finger hovered at the trigger, but Killian’s voice broke through her pain.

              “Emma, you don’t want to do this.”

              “Let her Hook,” Regina said in a tortured voice, “I deserve it. Villains don’t get happy endings, remember?”

              “He died in my arms.” Emma’s hands were trembling now. Regina’s eyes widened as she watched the weapon, bracing herself for the moment it would go off. “I . . . I was falling in love with him.”

              Emma couldn’t let herself look at Killian. Everyone knew he loved her. Emma knew. He hadn’t said it, but she knew. The only reason he hadn’t said the words was because he knew her walls weren’t completely broken down yet. She couldn’t see the heartbreak on his face hearing her admit to falling for someone else. And he’d had to hear her say she loved Walsh, too. Emma wondered how many times Killian would put up with it before he would give up on her and leave.

              Emma squared her shoulders. Killian’s feelings weren’t her focus right now. Avenging Graham was.

              “I know you were,” Regina admitted, raising both trembling hands in supplication, “and he was falling for you.”

              “And you just couldn’t stand that, could you?” Emma shouted. “You didn’t even give him a choice. You _forced_ him to sleep with you, Regina. For thirty damn years! Graham deserves justice.”

              Emma shut her eyes tight. She was going to do it. She was going to pull the trigger. Even though she was trembling all over.

              But then she felt a gentle hand at her elbow. “Graham wouldn’t want this,” Killian told her softly. “He loved you because you were good and strong, Emma. He wouldn’t want that light in you to die over revenge. It won’t change anything. It can’t bring him back.”

              The gun tumbled from Emma’s hands as she turned to Killian. She fell against his chest, but before the ugly, broken sobs could overtake her, she transported them back to his room at the inn. There she let him hold her, wetting his chest with her tears.

                            ****************************************************

              The next day, Emma stomped her way down the steps to the same place she had confronted Regina the night before. She stood in front of the brunette, her arms crossed. She may no longer be harboring murderous thoughts, but she was still pissed. And hurt. Incredibly hurt.

              “You’re pretty brave to ask me to meet you here,” Emma snapped.

              Regina nodded grimly in agreement, then gestured to the leather-clad figure descending the steps behind Emma. “That’s why I asked for him to come, too. I figured Hook would stop you from killing me, if it came to that.”

              “So we’re here because . . . ?” Emma asked in irritation.

              Regina took a deep breath. “Emma, I want you to know, that what I did to Graham –“

              “Murdering him you mean.”

              Regina stared down at her hands which were clasped nervously in front of her. “Yes. I murdered him. And it haunts me every day.” She lifted her face to look Emma in the eye, and Emma was startled to see a tortured expression there. “Do you remember that tree Pan tied us to in Neverland? The one that held us there by the weight of our regrets?”

              “Yeah,” Emma bit out, “and I recall you saying you had none.”

              Regina laughed darkly, tilting her head back, “I did say that. But now? Now I don’t think that tree would ever let me go.” She paused for a long time, pressing her eyes shut tight. “Now my regret is this heavy weight, Emma. Pressing me down until I can barely breathe.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “How can I live with what I’ve done? The shame is too great.”

              “I know it hurts.”

              Emma turned in surprise at Killian’s words. He was standing next to her, his hand a comforting warmth at her back. His jaw clenched and his eyes held such agony.

              “But it’s a good hurt,” he continued. “It means your heart is coming back to life, Regina. It means redemption is possible.” He looked down at Emma then, a soft smile on his face as he tugged her closer to his side.

              Regina nodded and took a deep breath. “Well, I want to try and make things right. As much as I can, anyway. I want to return as many hearts as I can, but I need your help, Savior, to do it.”

              “Me?” Emma protested. “How?”

              “I . . . “ Regina looked away in shame, “don’t remember              who most of these belong to. And usually, except for Gold torturing Hook, victims don’t know their hearts have been taken. But there’s a spell that can show you who a heart belongs to. It can only be used by someone with light magic who is pure of heart.”

              Emma rolled her eyes, “Not so sure how pure my heart is.”

              “Trust me, it is,” Regina quipped, her normal sarcasm rising to the surface once again, “your taste in men notwithstanding.” Regina shook a vial of liquid onto Emma’s palms. “When I put a heart in your hands, you should be able to see the person it belongs to. Now some are in other realms, but the ones in Storybrooke we will be able to return.”

              Regina slid open the first drawer and placed the heart inside into Emma’s outstretched palms. The heart began to glow, and Emma looked up with a wide grin into Regina’s eyes. “I see her – she’s at the library!”

              The rest of the day was one of the most rewarding ones of Emma’s life. Regina had been right, some they were unable to return, but most of her hearts were returned to their rightful owners. A fisherman at the docks who used to be in Killian’s crew; a worker at the cannery who used to be a black knight; a waitress at Granny’s who was a bar wench in the Enchanted Forest. Emma let Regina do the honors of putting the hearts back, and the reaction on people’s faces were always moving. Some clapped their hands over their mouths as a laugh escaped for the first time in years. Some wept as they whispered, “I feel!” They all said thank you, sometimes even to Regina herself. One woman even hugged the former Evil Queen.

              At the end of the day, only half a dozen hearts remained in the vault. Regina placed her palm reverently against the drawer that contained one of them, a wistful smile on her lips. “One day, hopefully, Anton can grow more beans. Then I can return these, too.” She turned to Emma, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Thank you.”

              Emma simply nodded her head. “It was the right thing to do.”

              Regina gave a sarcastic chuckle. “Yeah, I’m still learning what that feels like. Doing the right thing.”

              “It gets easier,” Killian assured her.

              “It was amazing,” Regina told them, wonder in her voice, “how readily people forgave me.” She paused and looked long at Emma. “Do you? Forgive me?”

              Emma took a deep breath before answering. She was surprised when the words came out of her mouth, and even more surprised that she truly meant them. “Yes, Regina. I forgive you.”

              Regina shook her head and grasped both of Emma’s hands in hers. “You and your parents have extended so much grace to me. Far more than I deserve.”

              Emma shrugged. “I think that’s kind of the point. That’s why they call it grace.”

                             ************************************************

              Emma’s curiosity was at an all-time high as she made her way up the stairwell. She hadn’t known, first of all, that any of the buildings in Storybrooke had roof access. Second, she wasn’t entirely sure how her boyfriend had procured a key to Modern Fashion after hours. If she asked him, she was sure he would simply quirk his eyebrow and say, “Pirate!” It was probably best she didn’t ask too many questions.

              She paused at the door that read, “Roof Access,” and smoothed her hand down the fabric of her dress. For her first date with Killian, she had opted for pretty and feminine. For this – their second date – she had decided to go with downright sexy. She was hoping this tight, little black dress would lead to finishing what they had started last night in Killian’s room. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair, which fell in soft waves down her back, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

              The breath she had just expelled caught in her throat at the scene before her. Would this man never stop surprising her? Her eyes widened as she took it all in; the Christmas lights strung everywhere, the table set with a fancy linen tablecloth, the flutes of champagne. Then she chuckled. Juxtaposed with the fancy place settings was a brown paper bag emblazoned with Granny’s logo.

              “Let me guess,” she laughed as she drew close to her boyfriend’s side and greeted him with a soft kiss, “grilled cheese and onion rings?”

              He looked down at her with a smile that was equal parts tender and wicked. He swiped at his lower lip as his eyes raked over her, and she knew she had picked the right dress. “I know you well, love.”

              _And hopefully by the end of the night, you’ll know me even better_ Emma couldn’t help thinking as Killian pulled out the chair for her. Their talk was easy, like it always was, and she marveled again at how at ease she felt with this man, how completely free she felt to just be herself. When the meal was over, Killian took her by the hand and led her to the edge of the roof. He stood behind her, his arms enveloping her. He bent and rested his chin against her shoulder. Emma leaned back against him, feeling more loved and content than she had in years. 300 years old he may be, but the man sure knew how to plan a date.

              “I wanted to bring you up here so you could see all of Storybrooke,” he explained. “I mean, look at this town, Swan. Regina made it to be a curse, but what it’s become is something quite beautiful. A place for second chances, where villains can be redeemed.”

              Emma turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Except for Gold?” she asked with a chuckle.

              Killian grimaced. “Aye. I’ve never been more proud of Belle than when she kicked that sorry excuse for a man over the town line. That lass is cut from the same cloth as you and your mother – good and kind, yet tough when she needs to be.”

              Emma wrapped her arms tighter and rested her head against Killian’s shoulder. They swayed, even though there was no music. “You and Belle have been spending a lot of time together.” It was merely a statement; it held no jealousy whatsoever. Emma knew there was no woman for Killian but her.

              “Aye. We’ve been researching a way to get the fairies out of the hat. Like Regina, I want to make things right.”

              “Hey,” Emma protested, pulling away to look up into his eyes, “that wasn’t you at all. It was Gold who did that.”

              Killian sighed. “Maybe so. But none of it ever would have happened, including my heart being taken, if I hadn’t been such a fool about _this_ ,” and he gestured with his hook.

              “You were a fool,” Emma whispered, “to think that this,” she paused and lifted his hook to her chest, clasping it tight with both hands, “ever mattered to me.”

              The look of self-loathing on his face melted into sheer adoration as he gazed down at her, his blue eyes shining with love. He bent and kissed her; a long, slow, tender kiss that spoke of many more to come. When the kiss ended, he pulled her close in an embrace that promised of a love that was in no hurry and would make no demands. Emma pressed her face to his shoulder and breathed in his scent. When she opened her eyes, she could see the lights of Storybrooke shining behind him. Yes, their home was truly something beautiful.

_In a daydream, I couldn't live like this I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful When I wake up, and all I want I have You know I still won't have what I need Something beautiful_

_Hey now, this is my desire Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful To touch me, I know that I'm in reach 'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful_


End file.
